


Hair Apparent

by wyntereyez



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Humor, Wookiees (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntereyez/pseuds/wyntereyez
Summary: When a pair of familiar faces arrive in Storybrooke, Killian Jones' whole life is turned upside down.  He and Emma join Han Solo and Chewbacca on an intergalactic adventure to discover his roots.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Leia Organa/Han Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Hair Apparent

**Author's Note:**

> The blame for this falls _entirely_ on Colin O'Donoghue. During his Saturday panel at Enchanted 2019, he said would have liked to see Star Wars characters in OUAT, and that Chewbacca could be Killian's father, which is why he's so hairy. Then he did a Wookiee impression. I died.
> 
> In short, Colin is a nerdy menace, and I can't resist a cracky concept.
> 
> Happy Star Wars Day!!!

Emma had thought nothing could surprise her anymore. After all, her parents were fairytale characters, her husband was a centuries old pirate, dragons regularly flew over the station, and she could afford a huge house on a sheriff's paycheck. Her life was one big fantasy, and there wasn't anything anymore that Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest could throw at her that would ruffle her proverbial feathers.

So of course, the Universe chose this as a 'hold my beer' moment.

She and Killian had just arrived at the sheriff's station for their morning shift when Emma felt it: the pulse of magic that accompanied the opening of a portal. Emma glanced around wildly; for her to have felt it, the portal was close. But where -?

The road of an engine drew her gaze upward, and her eyes widened at the sight of the largest portal she'd ever seen hovering directly over the station.

And then something that looked _exactly_ like the _Millennium Falcon_ appeared in the sky, hurtling through the portal that snapped closed as soon as it was clear and perilously skimming the roof before gaining enough altitude to avoid hitting the neighboring building. A blast of superheated air whipped Emma's hair into her eyes, and she heard Killian curse as the hot coffees he was carrying were blown out of his hand to spill against his legs.

The keys to the station fell out of her suddenly numb fingers. She stared in wonder as the ship turned gracefully in midair, circling what Emma presumed was the town square, the only place within the town limits open enough for the ship to land.

It would probably damage the ornamental fountain. Regina would be pissed.

Well, she didn't need a statue of herself, anyway.

"Holy shit!" Emma breathed. "Killian, did you see -"

"Aye," he grumbled, as he dabbed at the hit coffee on his pants with a kerchief. "Bloody thing was impossible to miss." He hissed a breath, and she realized he'd been burnt by the coffee.

"Here, let me -" she began, moving in to heal him. He waved her away.

"I'm fine, Love. Go ahead and handle this. I'll follow in a moment." He was right; the ship's engines had drawn attention, and there was already a crowd heading towards the square. Emma needed to gain control of the situation, and quickly. Reality seldom matched fiction, and Emma could just imagine the havoc the futuristic ship could wreak if the occupants were actually evil.

She launched herself down the steps to join the crowd, shouldering her way through and accidentally knocking Sleepy to the sidewalk in her haste. "Sheriff coming through!" she cried.

The ship had just touched down when Emma reached the square. (The statue atop The fountain was surprisingly intact; just leaning at an angle that wouldn't hold for long.) A heated cloud of dust had been kicked up by the ship's maneuvers, and it rolled over the gathered crowd like another curse. Emma hoped that wasn't a sign.

Emma glanced back, searching for Killian. She thought she saw him slowly fighting his way towards her, but it was difficult to tell through the dust cloud. Emma waved her arms and bellowed "Stay back!" A few people listened; the rest surged forward for a better look at the ship.

"STAND BACK!" Leroy's voice roared from beside her. "CLEAR THE SQUARE!". Accustomed to listening to the dwarf's dire warnings, the crowd immediately obeyed. Emma wondered if they should hire Leroy.

Killian finally caught up to her, limping slightly as he took his place at her side. His hand rested on the hilt of his sword.

There was a hydraulic hiss, and the ship's hatch slowly opened. Emma tensed in anticipation. While a part of her was alert, ready to sling her magic if there was a threat, the rest of her was remembering a teenage crush she'd never quite grown out of. (She clearly had a type.) There was a rasp of metal as Killian drew his Cutlass, but he kept it at his side, point downward. Emma wondered what kind of damage he thought he could do with a sword.

There was the clatter of boot soles against metal, and Emma held her breath as a pair of feet in worn leather boots appeared. The stopped as their owner assessed the crowd, and then continued onward until the man was completely visible. Emma's breath caught.

There was no doubt; the man swaggering down the ramp was undeniably Han Solo. Older than he had been in the original trilogy (but nowhere near his age in the newer films), he had hair that was just beginning to go silver, and there were laugh lines around his bright eyes. He caught her regard and gave her a smirk that rivaled her husband's, and her stomach fluttered.

Yeah. She definitely had a type.

He held up his hands to show he was unarmed, and he wasn't wearing a holster.

"Greetings," he said. "I come in peace." His lips twitched in amusement, as though even he recognized how corny the line was, but had been coached to say it anyway. "I'd ask you to take me to your leader, but I'm thinking that's you?"

Emma's phone buzzed in her pocket. Probably Regina, demanding to know what was happening. She could wait.

Killian shifted closer, his stance protective. Han saw this, and his grin widened.

"I'm the sheriff - the head of law enforcement," she clarified. "As long as you mean no harm, you're welcome in Storybrooke." Regina would probably kill her.

There was a roar from the depths of the ship, and Emma froze. Killian's eyes widened, and he started to raise his sword. Emma grabbed his wrist before he could. She was pretty sure she knew what - or rather, who - this was.

"It's all right, Chewie! They're friendly!" Han yelled back. "That's just my copilot. You might want to brace yourselves; I don't think you have anything like him in your planet."

Something moved in the hatch, then slowly descended; a dark, wild figure that triggered some primal instinct to run. Emma looked up...and up...and up...into that furry face, and was not comforted by its familiarity.

Okay, wow...Wookiees were far larger and more intimidating in person.

Chewbacca's mouth opened, showing off the sharp white teeth that hadn't looked anywhere near that terrifying on her TV screen, and roared.

Killian's hand tightened on the sword hilt, and he trembled with the effort not to raise the blade.

Han gave his companion an affectionate grin. "This here's Chewbacca. I know he looks fierce - and he is, believe me - but he won't hurt you."

The Wookiee grunted and nodded. Then he rumbled something to Han, who scowled. "We're supposed to be diplomatic -" 

Chewie growled. 

"You've waited this long, you can wait a few more -"

A longer, deeper snarl.

"All right, all right. But Leia's not going to be happy. She had speech prepared for me and everything." Han didn't sound particularly upset that he wouldn't have the chance to deliver said speech.

Han turned to Emma. "We're actually here looking for someone. A man by the name of Killian Jones."

...what? Emma tried to speak, but couldn't. They wanted Killian?! What had he done this time?!

Chewbacca drew in a great breath, then suddenly cried out and lunged forward. Before Killian could react, he was engulfed in the Wookiee's arms. Emma tried to run towards them, but Han stepped between them, shaking his head. Emma's fingers twitched, ready to summon a fireball, but then she saw what the Wookiee was doing.

He was smelling Killian's hair.

Killian struggled, trying to break free of that iron grip, but the Wookiee didn't even acknowledge his blows. "Let go of me, you hairy lug!" Killian howled.

Chewbacca raised his head and growled at Han. "This one? You're sure?" Chewbacca snarled again, and even she could tell he was irritated. "Okay, okay! He's just a little short, is all."

 _For a Storm Trooper,_ , Emma mentally finished. She couldn't stop the hysterical giggle.

"'m not short," Killian mumbled into Chewbacca's chest, making another unsuccessful attempt to escape.

Chewbacca released him, and Killian raised his sword. This time, Emma didn't stop him. "What do you want with Killian?" Emma demanded, when she saw he couldn't ask because he was spitting Wookiee hairs out of his mouth.

"Killian Jones, son of Alice Jones?" Han asked.

Killian went very still. "How do you know -" he began, his voice low, dangerous.

"I don't," Han said, "but Chewie did. Very well. It seems ol' Chewie here is your father!"

Emma had been wrong. She could definitely still be surprised.

~tbc~


End file.
